tarbor

Brown eyes are so iconic and beautiful

brittanyyderpp

Green eyes are even more iconic and beautiful.

computerworm

If i met a white person irl I’d beat the shit out of them and mug them just because of this post. Because of you. Maybe even kill them. Because of you. You had to say this and now some random cracker bitch is gonna die. Are you happy? Was it worth it?

hannibalapologist

uh they didn’t have the jewish star at the store so i got you a regular cookie and made the star myself by breaking off the pieces. it’s meant to celebrate uh your jewish heritage. what is this? the jewish star i just said that. hey hey schmidt- ..this is so terrible! you gave me a cookie i gave you a cookie.. you gave me cookie gave you cookie…gave me cookie got you cookie. YOU GAVE ME COOKIE I GOT YOU COOKIE MAN. GAVE YOU COOKIE GOT YOU COOKIE?! WE’RE EVEN, WE’RE EVEN SCHMIDT. I MEAN WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? WHAT DO YOU WANT SCHMIDT? I’VE BEEN WRACKING MY BRAIN ALL DAY. ……i walked around the grocery store, man. for 45 minutes. i didn’t know what to get you. then i was thinking i was gonna get you ramen, like we used to eat, but you probably eat like fancy ramen now with like figs in it. i don’t know, man.. you love me too much, schmidt. and you picked the wrong guy. and when are you gonna get that through that giant head of yours? i’m just gonna let you down. are you crying? i’m not crying- yea, you are crying. oh my god. i’m not crying guys, just drop it i just felt like i did something nice. yes you are and that’s okay. don’t say that, man, ‘cause that..you know what i mean.. just let it rain man. i got you the cookie, schmidt,  it’s the best i could do

spaceandbones

in grade 6 and every time we had a movie day or class party id ask my mom for a can of doctor pepper but i had to keep it in my backpack and it always got shaken up and would explode when i opened it bcus we all know dr pepper has much more chaos inside the can than any other soda and anyways my whole class instinctively knew every time that my doctor pepper would explode and we'd have to pause the movie and clean it up and id usually be covered in dr pepper for the rest of the day and be super embarrassed and this happened to me about twelve times throughout the year. you might be wondering why i couldnt keep my dr pepper in my locker until we watched the movie and its because i didnt have a locker in grade six after i left a piece of pumpkin pie that my teacher gave me in there for a month and it rotted and molded so bad and there were maggots everywhere so one day i locked the locker and refused to open it ever again so for a whole year i carried all my stuff around because i was afraid to go to admin and tell them about my maggot pie because someone started a rumor that if the principle figured out you did something bad she would lock you down in the basement storage room that was infamous for having a giant rat that lived inside of it and i was afraid of rats after seeing ratatouille because i thought a rat might climb inside my hair and start controlling me and force me to do things i didnt want to do like make soup

chokopoppo

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